The end of daylight savings is that dreaded time of year when it gets darker earlier, the weather gets colder, and time seems to move slower. We wake up in darkness. We leave home to go to work… in darkness. We leave work to come home… in darkness… It can feel like a real slog.
Johns Hopkins’ editorial specialist, Morgan Coulson, wrote an article in March 2023 on “7 Things to Know about Daylight Savings Time: The Changing of the Clock Means Misalignment with our Bodies’ Natural Rhythms”. Most people are familiar with the disruption in our circadian rhythms and the associated fatigue. What people may not know is the widespread physical, mental, and emotional consequences of changing the time. “The scientific evidence points to acute increases in adverse health consequences from changing the clocks, including heart attack and stroke”, says a sleep expert Adam Spira, PhD. Too, there is a heightened risk of mood disturbances, depression and anxiety, and substance use.
Adding insult to injury, we have the 24-hour news coverage of political divides, social justice issues, environmental disasters, and human suffering. It can feel overwhelming at times. “Doomscrolling” contributes to overwhelm, increasing psychological distress and reducing wellbeing.
Despair can creep in causing a slow, deep burn. Like embers in a fire, the inner anguish can gradually choke out hope that once existed or it can spread, igniting an inferno within, leaving you with a charred heart, a flaming soul, and a yearning for peace and respite from the relentless heat.
What Is Finding the Light?
Talking about the darkness seems effortless. It’s finding the joy, the peace, the contentment that challenges us. It can be confronting in some ways. To experience joy, peace, and contentment in times of such struggle and it may feel disingenuous.
Finding the Light is honoring the struggle and acknowledging other possibilities. Finding the Light is opening to experiences that lift us up, generate energy, and give solace. It is turning attention toward the moments, the people, and the experiences that reconnect us. The “light” may be what some call “positive emotions” that include love, contentment, joy, hope.
Nature, music, art, a heartfelt conversation, silence, laughter, intimacy, all generate light. A cozy bed, good book, funny movie, can all be moments of light and levity.
There’s purpose behind gratitude practices, affirmations, and positive self-talk by attempting to counter many of our brains’ cognitive distortions. Rick Hanson, psychologist, best-selling author, and Senior Fellow at UC Berkley’s Greater Good Science Center says, “the brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones.” It takes a minimum of three positive experiences to offset one negative experience.
Finding the light is like eating healthy or going to the gym – mental “muscle-building”, if you will. It takes effort. It takes persistence. In a PubMed article “Cardiac coherence, self-regulation, autonomic stability, and psychosocial well-being” the research addresses “when individuals learn to sustain coherence while communicating with others, there is increased physiological linkage, and they become more sensitive to others so as to promote greater empathy and rapport, which allows for the process of heart felt connection to occur (McCraty, 2004).”
In other words, finding the light is personal and collective. The more we practice this on a personal level, the more we influence others. The more we influence others, the more we create positive change.
The Dark/Light Contrast
Our relationship to light and dark is complex. For some, leaning into the light can cause angst because it feels unsafe, unsteady, and fleeting. Avoiding feelings of joy, pleasure, and calm is their norm. One might think that leaning into the light would be easy, a no-brainer. Why wouldn’t someone want to experience positive things? (This is more of a nuanced topic for another post. In the meantime, read this article.)
For others, there is an urge to cling to the light, wanting to only experience positive thoughts, emotions, and experiences – unaware of the clinginess. For these people, experiencing anything BUT positive emotions can feel especially distressing.
For some, darkness is unfamiliar territory. The “darker” emotions or sensations may include shame, rage, jealousy, or hopelessness. Denying or evading these emotions is common because of the potential negative consequences. Sometimes, people’s reactions to “negative” emotions can elicit destructive and painful behavior not only for themselves, but for those close to them. The fear is ‘if I experience this emotion, I’ll lose all control and dive headfirst into the darkness, never to return’.
I’m suggesting another way.
There Is NO Good or Bad
To clarify, I am not suggesting that joy equals “good/positive” and shame equals “bad/negative”. A common misconception is that the “good/positive” emotions, sensations, and experiences should be pursued and the “bad/negative” emotions, sensations, and experiences should be avoided. Many of us ebb and flow with these emotions and so learning to navigate them without feeling as though they need to be changed, controlled, or manipulated is critical. This is called psychological flexibility and is closely linked to overall wellbeing through improving brainpower, adapting to setbacks, reducing stress, generating creativity, and enhancing relationships.
What if we could approach the “positive” and “negative” with neutrality? What if it the “good” and “bad” emotions were just pieces of information and not calls to action? A question we might ask is ‘what are we learning’ as we ebb and flow through the light and darkness? What action needs taken, if any? What change needs created, if any? What solution needs generated, if any? Can I just accept this experience for what it is, as it is?
The Imbalance & What to Do About It
Our brains are wired to assess our environment for anything that may be threatening. As a result, we focus or fixate more on the negative than the positive. This is called negativity bias.
Negativity bias is a cognitive function that attempts to avoid mental and emotional pain. Just like we try to avoid physical pain we also try to avoid mental or emotional pain. Avoiding pain is natural, but when we focus exclusively on the avoidance we overlook or disregard the positive things that ARE happening. This is where the imbalance occurs.
The good news is there are ways to overcome the negativity bias. Here are some things you can do:
- Develop & Strengthen Self-awareness
The more self-aware you are the more able you are to notice your recurring thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. By identifying these patterns, we can make a conscious choice to challenge negativity and direct our attention to more positive experiences.
2. Practice Mindfulness
Presence practice, or mindfulness, is an intentional exercise with the goal of creating mental space and nonjudgment, so more positive experiences are available.
3. Savor Positive Moments
Taking time to relish in the things that are going well can be an important process for countering negativity. Solely focusing the negative creates an imbalance of perspective. Savoring positive moments can open us up to more overall wellbeing.
‘Find the Light’ Initiative
Recent conversations with friends, family, and clients have mostly been about the struggles, the pain, the “dark”. In response, I created ‘Find the Light’ Initiative to re-discover the well of brilliance, beauty, calm, and gratitude inside you and the glow of mystery, awe, hope, and beauty outside you, to re-ignite your soul.
It includes:
- A 60 Day Challenge
- Stories of people finding their light
- A Blog to capture the ‘Find the Light’ process
On November 5th, every day for 60 days, the practice is to find an emotion, sensation, thought, or experience that lifts you up, energizes you, calms you, or enhances your wellbeing in some way. Finding the Light is a personal and collective practice. Let’s do it together!
Go to Instagram @wearelightingthepath to participate!
Additional resources:
What is the Negativity Bias and How It Can Be Overcome?
Lighting the Path 
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