Part 3: Common Misconceptions about Therapy and Coaching

Therapy

If I’m going to therapy, something is wrong with me.
- First of all, nothing is wrong with you. You are whole just as you are; it may be that life circumstances, ancestral lines, or other issues are preventing you from living fully. To go to therapy, it may be that processing your past, working through life challenges, and coming to resolve is just what you need. Coaching can accomplish this too. However, therapy is just a different way of going about it.

I can’t do therapy and coaching at the same time.
- I, myself, have received therapy from one provider AND coaching from another simultaneously. It was tremendously helpful and was able to glean insights into my own stuff in a way that launched me forward quickly. The trick is to focus on specific things in each — maybe you want to process grief and loss in therapy and work toward a career goal in coaching. What’s even cooler is if you can find someone who is trained to do both! *eh-hem*
I need to know exactly what I want/need from therapy.
- You can know something is off or out of balance and struggle to communicate exactly what it it. You’re probably seeking out therapy for a reason, so once you get started you’ll discover what things you want to focus on.

It’s a drawn-out process that takes a long time.
- It depends on the type of therapy, the therapist’s treatment and approach, and the extent of the challenges you want to work through. There are brief, effective models of therapy. With that said, if you’ve experienced complex trauma, please adjust your expectations. It’ll likely be a longer process for those wounds to heal.
Something must be going terribly bad for me to want therapy.
- Again, it can be a life transition (e.g. moving to a new town, changing jobs, becoming a parent, etc) that you’re struggling with and a therapist can assist you in handling the changes. Everyone goes through some kind of change in their lifetime and feeling anxious or depressed about it is completely normal.
I must work with whomever I find or has availability.
- I encourage people to seek out a therapist you like and think can help you. The reason being if you work with a therapist who you don’t enjoy, don’t respect, and ultimately don’t believe will generate changes, you won’t get the results you want. The therapeutic relationship is a critical factor in making the progress you want. Mental health providers and services are being even more inundated post COVID. So, keep in mind it’s quite possible you’ll be waiting to get in for services.
It will destabilize me and I won’t know how to function in my everyday life.
- Depending on the nature and severity of your concern/situation, how long it’s been left unattended, and how the therapist works, it may be that the symptoms get worse before they get better. I call this the “scrubbing out phase”. Think of it this way, when you step on a nail and it penetrates your skin and goes into the foot you’re left with a decision: “do I leave the nail there and work around the pain? Do I pull it out and put a band aid on it? Or, do I have someone help me pull out the nail and scrub it clean, get a tetanus shot, and revisit the wound over and over until it scars?” The “scrubbing out phase” may hurt AND long term, it’ll be very much worth it!

Coaching

We’ll only focus on my goals without consideration for my circumstances.
- Every coach is different in how they work and an effective coach takes life circumstances into account so that whatever you’re encountering you stay on track and reach your goals.
It’s an intense process and I’ll be pushed hard.
- Some coaches will push you hard. Some will give you more grace and compassion. It’ll be up to you to determine the type of coach you’re looking for. My approach is to inspire you, lift you up, support you AND hold you accountable to the things you say you want.
It’s not as effective as therapy.
- I’ll start by saying coaching is an unregulated field, which means there aren’t governing boards to determine “best practices”, ensure services are effective, and require providers take trainings to keep up with current education. However, that’s not to say there aren’t great coaches out there. There are! Coaching can be as or more effective than therapy, depending on a variety of things.
I need to know what I want from coaching.
- Isn’t it funny how we think we need to have all the answers before we get some help? You do NOT need to know what you want. It’s enough for you to know ‘I could use some help.’ It’ll be the coaches job to help you clarify what you want, what motivates you, and how to get it!
A coach is merely a glorified cheerleader.
- I’ve heard this one before! Haha! Actually, coaches go through a certification process getting trained in their specialty area to deliver tools and strategies so you can successfully navigate your life, provide information and education, and revisit your goals to ensure you’re inching closer to them.
Achieving my goals is direct and easy; I just need someone to hold me accountable.
- It’s true that coaches will hold you accountable. It’s also true that the path may not always be linear. Sometimes our path is windy and it may not be because we give up or get distracted, it may be because life has other plans for us. So, all I’m saying is to be open and curious to the process!
I can’t receive coaching if I have been diagnosed with a mental health issue.
- You CAN receive coaching! I recommend you tell your coach briefly about the diagnosis so they can understand a bit more about you. Your diagnosis does NOT define you and, depending on what’s going on for you, it’ll be important to discuss what is needed throughout the coaching process.